The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport
by: Carl Hiaasen
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Ever wonder how to retrieve a sunken golf cart from a snake-infested lake? Or which club in your bag is best suited for combat against a horde of rats? If these and other sporting questions are gnawing at you, The Downhill Lie, Carl Hiaasen’s hilarious confessional about returning to the fairways after a thirty-two-year absence, is definitely the book for you.
Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl wisely quit golfing in 1973, when “Richard Nixon was hunkered down like a meth-crazed badger in the White House, Hank Aaron was one dinger shy of Babe Ruth’s all-time home run record, and The Who had just released Quadrophenia.” But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years—and memories of shanked 7-irons—faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son—and also as a grandfather.
“What possesses a man to return in midlife to a game at which he’d never excelled in his prime, and which in fact had dealt him mostly failure, angst and exasperation? Here’s why I did it: I’m one sick bastard.”
And thus we have Carl’s foray into a world of baffling titanium technology, high-priced golf gurus, bizarre infomercial gimmicks and the mind-bending phenomenon of Tiger Woods; a maddening universe of hooks and slices where Carl ultimately—and foolishly—agrees to compete in a country-club tournament against players who can actually hit the ball. “That’s the secret of the sport’s infernal seduction,” he writes. “It surrenders just enough good shots to let you talk yourself out of quitting.”
Hiaasen’s chronicle of his shaky return to this bedeviling pastime and the ensuing demolition of his self-esteem—culminating with the savage 45-hole tournament—will have you rolling with laughter. Yet the bittersweet memories of playing with his own father and the glow he feels when watching his own young son belt the ball down the fairway will also touch your heart. Forget Tiger, Phil and Ernie. If you want to understand the true lure of golf, turn to Carl Hiaasen, who has written an extraordinary book for the ordinary hacker.
Ever wonder how to retrieve a sunken golf cart from a snake-infested lake? Or which club in your bag is best suited for combat against a horde of rats? If these and other sporting questions are gnawing at you, The Downhill Lie, Carl Hiaasen’s hilarious confessional about returning to the fairways after a thirty-two-year absence, is definitely the book for you.
Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl wisely quit golfing in 1973, when “Richard Nixon was hunkered down like a meth-crazed badger in the White House, Hank Aaron was one dinger shy of Babe Ruth’s all-time home run record, and The Who had just released Quadrophenia.” But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years—and memories of shanked 7-irons—faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son—and also as a grandfather.
“What possesses a man to return in midlife to a game at which he’d never excelled in his prime, and which in fact had dealt him mostly failure, angst and exasperation? Here’s why I did it: I’m one sick bastard.”
And thus we have Carl’s foray into a world of baffling titanium technology, high-priced golf gurus, bizarre infomercial gimmicks and the mind-bending phenomenon of Tiger Woods; a maddening universe of hooks and slices where Carl ultimately—and foolishly—agrees to compete in a country-club tournament against players who can actually hit the ball. “That’s the secret of the sport’s infernal seduction,” he writes. “It surrenders just enough good shots to let you talk yourself out of quitting.”
Hiaasen’s chronicle of his shaky return to this bedeviling pastime and the ensuing demolition of his self-esteem—culminating with the savage 45-hole tournament—will have you rolling with laughter. Yet the bittersweet memories of playing with his own father and the glow he feels when watching his own young son belt the ball down the fairway will also touch your heart. Forget Tiger, Phil and Ernie. If you want to understand the true lure of golf, turn to Carl Hiaasen, who has written an extraordinary book for the ordinary hacker.
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Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
Rating: 
- Golf Books Are Like Putts...
...The shorter, the better.So says Carl Hiaasen, who has had a lot of success as a novelist, but as he makes clear, his golf skills are nothing to brag about.THE DOWNHILL LIE is a relatively short book; it's an account of his return to golf after having abandoned the sport for three decades.There is a lot that is laugh-out-loud funny in this book, including an incident when his cart rolls into a pond.
Mr. Hiaasen's ambivalence is something every hacker knows, and he articulates ... Read More
Rating: - Hysterical, whether or not you're a golfer...
If you are looking for a great Christmas present for the golfers on your list, The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport by Carl Hiaasen is the perfect gift.Hiaasen takes the same skills he uses to write his zany mysteries to produce this hysterical look at his return to golfing after a 30-year hiatus.
Carl Hiaasen's dad was a fairly good golfer, and he taught the sport to his son.But unlike dad, Carl was pretty much a duffer."At my best, I'd shown occasional flashes ... Read More
Rating: - nostalgia
Hiassen's recollections of golf with his father and golf with his young son struck a nostalgic chord.It seems that he knew he was being a real pain sometimes with his dad but at this point he cherishes the memory of Sundays playing golf with dad--- and then he enjoys watching his own son learn the game.It brought a lump to my throat.This book brought a number of audible chuckles too, particularily his purchase of all those weird golf "aids" that we always see in the back of golf magazines.
Play ... Read More
Rating: - The Downhill Lie
Carl Hiaasen shines a relentlessly humorous light on the agonies and the ecstasies that are well known to all amateur golfers. A must read for golfing adicts.
Rating: 
- Hackers Beware
Hiaasen's recent book is not more of the same.This one is NOT funny.If you are a golfer, love a golfer, or are related to a golfer, this book rings WAY too true.Bought it, read it, passed it on to my golfer son-in-law, and asked him to ignore the parts about politics and just wince at the rest of it.I've read all of Hiaasen's books and as many of his articles as I could lay hands on here in Michigan and when visiting Florida, and have always loved his stories.I would hope, for the sake of his readers, ... Read More
- Golf Books Are Like Putts......The shorter, the better.So says Carl Hiaasen, who has had a lot of success as a novelist, but as he makes clear, his golf skills are nothing to brag about.THE DOWNHILL LIE is a relatively short book; it's an account of his return to golf after having abandoned the sport for three decades.There is a lot that is laugh-out-loud funny in this book, including an incident when his cart rolls into a pond.
Mr. Hiaasen's ambivalence is something every hacker knows, and he articulates ... Read More
- Hysterical, whether or not you're a golfer...If you are looking for a great Christmas present for the golfers on your list, The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport by Carl Hiaasen is the perfect gift.Hiaasen takes the same skills he uses to write his zany mysteries to produce this hysterical look at his return to golfing after a 30-year hiatus.
Carl Hiaasen's dad was a fairly good golfer, and he taught the sport to his son.But unlike dad, Carl was pretty much a duffer."At my best, I'd shown occasional flashes ... Read More
- nostalgiaHiassen's recollections of golf with his father and golf with his young son struck a nostalgic chord.It seems that he knew he was being a real pain sometimes with his dad but at this point he cherishes the memory of Sundays playing golf with dad--- and then he enjoys watching his own son learn the game.It brought a lump to my throat.This book brought a number of audible chuckles too, particularily his purchase of all those weird golf "aids" that we always see in the back of golf magazines.
Play ... Read More
- The Downhill LieCarl Hiaasen shines a relentlessly humorous light on the agonies and the ecstasies that are well known to all amateur golfers. A must read for golfing adicts.
- Hackers BewareHiaasen's recent book is not more of the same.This one is NOT funny.If you are a golfer, love a golfer, or are related to a golfer, this book rings WAY too true.Bought it, read it, passed it on to my golfer son-in-law, and asked him to ignore the parts about politics and just wince at the rest of it.I've read all of Hiaasen's books and as many of his articles as I could lay hands on here in Michigan and when visiting Florida, and have always loved his stories.I would hope, for the sake of his readers, ... Read More
