Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
by: David Schnarch Ph.D.
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Amazon.com Review:
People joke that the start of a couple's marriage means theend of their sex life. David Schnarch, a sex therapist praised byPepper Schwartz, uses epiphany-laden conversations taken directly fromhis own marriage and the married couples he sees in practice to helpreaders defy the myth that marriages are necessarily passionless, andinstead prove that the longer a couple has been together, the higherthe fireworks can fly. It's especially aimed at older couples who,Schnarch says, are self-actualized and therefore better able to handleintimacy than younger partners. "People have difficulty withintimacy because they're supposed to," he says, and goes on inthis inspiring book to combine elements of marriage therapy and sextherapy to bring plenty of practical, fresh ideas to the crowd ofmostly vapid relationship books. (Note that despite its title, it'sfor any emotionally committed couple, not just married folks.)
Schnarch says that a man is more likely to let a relationship sufferin order to hold on to his sense of self, while a woman is more apt tolet her identity suffer to help strengthen it. Schnarch gives explicittips on how to alter this pattern, an essential step he calls"differentiation." He also explains why compromise isn'talways the best route to take when conflicts arise. The couplesprofiled here deal with the usual suspects: uneven sexual desire andinitiation, battles about oral sex, self-image problems, the"boondoggle" of trust (both of one's self and one'spartner), and the specter of divorce. Instead of focusing on eachclient's weaknesses, Schnarch teaches how to find inner strength andresilience that can be used to reaffirm a relationship and reignitesex.William H. Masters of Masters and Johnson fame calls this book"a classic," and no wonder. --Erica Jorgensen
Product Description:
This pioneering work opens whole new lines of thought and will benefit many couples.Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D.,author of The New Male SexualityA classic.William H. Maters, M.D.
People joke that the start of a couple's marriage means theend of their sex life. David Schnarch, a sex therapist praised byPepper Schwartz, uses epiphany-laden conversations taken directly fromhis own marriage and the married couples he sees in practice to helpreaders defy the myth that marriages are necessarily passionless, andinstead prove that the longer a couple has been together, the higherthe fireworks can fly. It's especially aimed at older couples who,Schnarch says, are self-actualized and therefore better able to handleintimacy than younger partners. "People have difficulty withintimacy because they're supposed to," he says, and goes on inthis inspiring book to combine elements of marriage therapy and sextherapy to bring plenty of practical, fresh ideas to the crowd ofmostly vapid relationship books. (Note that despite its title, it'sfor any emotionally committed couple, not just married folks.)
Schnarch says that a man is more likely to let a relationship sufferin order to hold on to his sense of self, while a woman is more apt tolet her identity suffer to help strengthen it. Schnarch gives explicittips on how to alter this pattern, an essential step he calls"differentiation." He also explains why compromise isn'talways the best route to take when conflicts arise. The couplesprofiled here deal with the usual suspects: uneven sexual desire andinitiation, battles about oral sex, self-image problems, the"boondoggle" of trust (both of one's self and one'spartner), and the specter of divorce. Instead of focusing on eachclient's weaknesses, Schnarch teaches how to find inner strength andresilience that can be used to reaffirm a relationship and reignitesex.William H. Masters of Masters and Johnson fame calls this book"a classic," and no wonder. --Erica Jorgensen
Product Description:
This pioneering work opens whole new lines of thought and will benefit many couples.Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D.,author of The New Male SexualityA classic.William H. Maters, M.D.
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Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
Rating: 
- Very informative!
I believe this a great book for couples. It is straight talk for our modern world, with a lot of great information. My only concern was it lacked a discussion of spirituality with-in the sexual realm of relationships.
Rating: 
- Amazing insight, changed my life and marriage!
After marriage counseling a few years ago, I felt a little better about my relationship with my husband.However, after reading this book, I feel better about my relationship with myself.... which only intensifies my intimate relationship with my husband. I wish all my friends and family would read this. I can imagine the counselors would be out of business.Definitely a life changing book, especially in bedroom.
Rating: - Passionate Marriage
This book was an eye opener for me personally.It help me learn about who I am and in the process develop the skill to love my partner unconditionally.A must read for all that are in a committed relationship or those that are wanting to start/have one.
Rating: - Different, But Effective
While many therapists and books focus on how you can accommodate and compromise with your partner, this book takes a completely different approach to working with couples who are having difficulties within their relationships. What I see happen over the course of time, couples who focus on making each other happy, end up resentful that their partner isn't contributing to the same degree, which results in withholding of love rather than continuous giving.
David Schnarch looks at relationships ... Read More
Rating: - Amazing Break throughs
I bought this book and another marital self-help book at the same time. I'm happy I read this book second because the first book caused more damage then good, better to have the trouble out of the way first.
While reading this book, I saw a lot of my own marriage in the characters. It was odd yet left me feeling hopeful to see that other marriages are going through almost the exact problems my marriage is going through. I could relate to a lot of what was said in this book. I was so happy to ... Read More
- Very informative!I believe this a great book for couples. It is straight talk for our modern world, with a lot of great information. My only concern was it lacked a discussion of spirituality with-in the sexual realm of relationships.
- Amazing insight, changed my life and marriage!After marriage counseling a few years ago, I felt a little better about my relationship with my husband.However, after reading this book, I feel better about my relationship with myself.... which only intensifies my intimate relationship with my husband. I wish all my friends and family would read this. I can imagine the counselors would be out of business.Definitely a life changing book, especially in bedroom.
- Passionate MarriageThis book was an eye opener for me personally.It help me learn about who I am and in the process develop the skill to love my partner unconditionally.A must read for all that are in a committed relationship or those that are wanting to start/have one.
- Different, But EffectiveWhile many therapists and books focus on how you can accommodate and compromise with your partner, this book takes a completely different approach to working with couples who are having difficulties within their relationships. What I see happen over the course of time, couples who focus on making each other happy, end up resentful that their partner isn't contributing to the same degree, which results in withholding of love rather than continuous giving.
David Schnarch looks at relationships ... Read More
- Amazing Break throughsI bought this book and another marital self-help book at the same time. I'm happy I read this book second because the first book caused more damage then good, better to have the trouble out of the way first.
While reading this book, I saw a lot of my own marriage in the characters. It was odd yet left me feeling hopeful to see that other marriages are going through almost the exact problems my marriage is going through. I could relate to a lot of what was said in this book. I was so happy to ... Read More
